[ it makes sense. things slot into place in ways that finally make sense, even with the gaps and holes in his memory. it makes sense.
when he lets himself think about things for too long, he gets ideas. ideas are dangerous, but he's had a few that stuck through despite the wipes.
one: he had to have come from somewhere. he was someone, before, because nothing can be made from nothing. he's seen the attempts at replicating him; they too came from somewhere. so he must have been from somewhere, now changed to be better. faster. stronger. more useful. who he was doesn't matter in the face of what he is now. this confirms it.
two: the mission isn't assassination, but disarmament. the weapon of the enemy is best when destroyed or seized; this man is too aware, too in control, too much work to break down if his behaviors are anything to go by. (how did they manage? does he get wiped too? do they put him in ice?) if hydra cannot control him, then hydra must destroy him. just like you detonate a bomb you can't disable.
three: he was decommissioned for a time. faulty. maybe it's the attitude; he's gotten punished for it before himself, what did this man do to earn it? is this why he needs to be retired? he knows they need parts of shield left intact; was he damaging the enemy in ways that hurt hydra too?
he winces. this is too much. he has—had—has?—a name. he has parents. they may have come from the same place before— before.
that's enough information for now. whatever mistake this asset had done that's giving it ideas about him, he'll leave that alone for later. hesitantly, then more firmly, he offers his hand to the man.
to steve rogers. he is james barnes, and this man is steve rogers. (why is he called bucky?) ]
[ it was too much to hope that bucky would follow all that, it'd magically cure his amnesia, and they could go back to violently tag-teaming hydra until it was wiped from the earth. steve didn't expect that, really, not even in his wildest hopes. it'd be enough just to convince bucky he was—is—a person, that he could trust steve, that he'd never have to fight again if he didn't want to. worst case scenario bucky would think he was lying, but keep him alive for intel.
this is not even close to that. this is much worse. ]
It's not like that. I work—worked, I worked for SHIELD on purpose. I wanted to.
[ he thought he was helping, naive as that now sounds. steve takes bucky's hand and lets himself be pulled up. ]
I wasn't decommissioned. I was frozen, I had to put the Red Skull's plane down in the middle of the Arctic. The serum kept my cells from dying.
[ the important thing is they're not actively trying to kill each other right now. working theory being correct or not, it's practical to conserve their resources - or find some, considering their situation.
completing the mission is important, but staying in peak condition is just as valuable too. steve rogers may be confused, and his story doesn't make sense based on what he knows, but it'll do for now.
he stares at their still-joined hands, tilts his head a bit at it. he doesn't hate the contact. it feels almost familiar. ]
SHIELD is HYDRA. [ it comes out like a question. ] Many parts of it is. It— You were in the way.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ it makes sense. things slot into place in ways that finally make sense, even with the gaps and holes in his memory. it makes sense.
when he lets himself think about things for too long, he gets ideas. ideas are dangerous, but he's had a few that stuck through despite the wipes.
one: he had to have come from somewhere. he was someone, before, because nothing can be made from nothing. he's seen the attempts at replicating him; they too came from somewhere. so he must have been from somewhere, now changed to be better. faster. stronger. more useful. who he was doesn't matter in the face of what he is now. this confirms it.
two: the mission isn't assassination, but disarmament. the weapon of the enemy is best when destroyed or seized; this man is too aware, too in control, too much work to break down if his behaviors are anything to go by. (how did they manage? does he get wiped too? do they put him in ice?) if hydra cannot control him, then hydra must destroy him. just like you detonate a bomb you can't disable.
three: he was decommissioned for a time. faulty. maybe it's the attitude; he's gotten punished for it before himself, what did this man do to earn it? is this why he needs to be retired? he knows they need parts of shield left intact; was he damaging the enemy in ways that hurt hydra too?
he winces. this is too much. he has—had—has?—a name. he has parents. they may have come from the same place before— before.
that's enough information for now. whatever mistake this asset had done that's giving it ideas about him, he'll leave that alone for later. hesitantly, then more firmly, he offers his hand to the man.
to steve rogers. he is james barnes, and this man is steve rogers. (why is he called bucky?) ]
Why were you decommissioned?
no subject
[ it was too much to hope that bucky would follow all that, it'd magically cure his amnesia, and they could go back to violently tag-teaming hydra until it was wiped from the earth. steve didn't expect that, really, not even in his wildest hopes. it'd be enough just to convince bucky he was—is—a person, that he could trust steve, that he'd never have to fight again if he didn't want to. worst case scenario bucky would think he was lying, but keep him alive for intel.
this is not even close to that. this is much worse. ]
It's not like that. I work—worked, I worked for SHIELD on purpose. I wanted to.
[ he thought he was helping, naive as that now sounds. steve takes bucky's hand and lets himself be pulled up. ]
I wasn't decommissioned. I was frozen, I had to put the Red Skull's plane down in the middle of the Arctic. The serum kept my cells from dying.
[ it all sounds ridiculous, laid out like that.
steve hasn't let go of bucky's hand. ]
no subject
completing the mission is important, but staying in peak condition is just as valuable too. steve rogers may be confused, and his story doesn't make sense based on what he knows, but it'll do for now.
he stares at their still-joined hands, tilts his head a bit at it. he doesn't hate the contact. it feels almost familiar. ]
SHIELD is HYDRA. [ it comes out like a question. ] Many parts of it is. It— You were in the way.
Who's in charge now?